I Was Drugged!
by David William Cooper
Summary: An Alternate Ending To "Bad Blood"...Hehehe...


Title: I Was Drugged!  
  
Spoliers: Bad Blood, 731  
  
Catagory: Parody, Alternate Ending, Humor  
  
Rating: PG-13, for some intense humours situations and language  
  
Archive: Ask before ya send it off!  
  
Feedback: Ya, sure, Doctor_Hannibal_Lector@hotmail.com  
  
Summary: What really happened after Skinner talked to Mulder and Scully!?  
  
Detacation: To the talented and gifted Jessica Beth, for whom this is for. Hope it makes ya laugh enough!  
  
Disclaimer: Um...Surfer God Chris Carter owns this all man...so like...um...its his and 1013 Productions, I'm just borrowin dude!  
  
  
  
I Was Drugged!  
  
By  
  
David William Cooper  
  
FBI Headquarters  
  
Washington, D.C.  
  
11:21 am  
  
The light dimly illuminated Assistant Director Walter Sergi Skinner's office. In front of Mulder and Scully was his office door, a door which everytime they seemed to venture beyond, was either major ass chewing or some kinda off beat sympathy. Skinner confused the interpid pair quite well. Mulder sat down next to Scully, who was nagging on him.  
  
"Remember...you were drugged!"  
  
"Stop it!"  
  
"You were drugged damnit! Tell him that!"  
  
"Would you stop that Scully!?" said Mulder, brushing the dust off his pants leg. He looked at Scully, who looked like she hadn't slept in the better half of a week, but man, could he really go for some coffee...nice, dark, rich coffee...Skinner's secratery Juliannne Morris answered the phone, looking up from whatever she was writing.  
  
"Yes? Uh huh, well he is about to enter a meeting that could take a few hours. Please call back sometime soon, thank ma'am." said Julianne, smiling at Mulder and Scully. Mulder's stomach dropped. A few hours? A few hours...major as chewing...major major ass chewing, and what about this 446 million dollars bit? How in the hell was he gonna pay for it with a little check of only 245 a week?! Huh? Mulder could feel Julianne's eyes on him. It creeped him out, especially now, since he was about to enter the worst ass chewing session of his entire life...even worse then when he accidently blew up a train.  
  
One last time before Skinner came out, Scully reminded Mulder that he was incapasatated and his quest to slay Ronnie Strickland was ogmented by that. The door flung open with a ear shattering crash when it hit the wall. Sheer anger filled Skinner's eyes. His lips curved evilly, a grin singnafied that he was so pissed, he was gonna kill em. Mulder quickly shot up.  
  
"I was drugged!!!!!!!!!!!!" Skinner simply stared at him. Mulder slowly retreated to Scully, a little closer then normal, wanting her to confort him. Scully, however, didn't really like that idea. She on the other hand didn't see the same evil, and menicle Skinner that Mulder did, but a half- calm, half-wacked out on weed Skinner, his eyes were a light glaze and his grin was ten miles wide.  
  
"I want ya both back in Texas, now, we have a problem, seems that the body of Ronnie Strickland has vanish from the morgue, and of course, the corner's neck was knawed on. Good luck Angels!" said Skinner slaming the door. Mulder and Scully shared worried looks.  
  
"Angels?" asked Scully, as they headed out of the office.  
  
"I think Skin Man has seen one too many episodes of 'Charlies Angels'...now I know what he dose when he gose into those six hour meetings...and no one ever shows up..."  
  
"Yeah, maybe Mulder, but, 'Charlies Angels' or not, we have a killer to catch. By the way...did he call us Angels?" Mulder just looked at her.  
  
"Yes. He did."  
  
"Thought so...".  
  
Chaney Cematary  
  
Chaney, Texas  
  
9: 32 pm  
  
The light from Mulder and Scullys flashlights pireced through the dead and gloomy night air. Mulder ate some sunflower seeds, and Scully, well Scully, she just made her way around, looking at the tomb stones and reading the names. One caught her odd. Ronold Labelle Strickland. Ronnie Strickland. Pizza guy! The same pizza guy who she'd bought the pizza off that nearly exsanguinated Mulder!  
  
"So um...Mulder, why, for the sake of conversation, are we in the local cematary?"  
  
"Vampire's need to sleep in um...thier native soil. So, I think we would find Ronnie here. With his native soil...ya know?"  
  
"Um...sure...whatever ya say Mulder, you are the pro, not me..."  
  
"Anyway, Scully, we have a killer to catch, who may or may not be dead...so.." just then Mulder was interupted by Sherrif Hartwell's police jeep pulling up. Hartwell got out, and gave Scully a wide smile. Mulder, once again, seeing his huge buckteeth retracted and glanced at a very dreamy Scully.  
  
"Howdy Agents!" said Hartwell, smiling more at Scully, and she was extremely dreamy by this time. Mulder figured that if Scully was madly in love with um...Doc Holiday there, he would find out where Strickland lived and get him from there. He knew his folks got mail general delivery, so he had some idea, but though he should run it by Hartwell.  
  
"Sherrif, where might ya live if your mail comes general delivery?"  
  
"RV Park?"  
  
"Oh your good, your really good. Scully stay with Hartwell, me I am gonna go find out if Ronnie Strickland is really dead..."  
  
"Mulder I..."  
  
"Don't ya say I never did nothin for ya cowgirl!" said Mulder with a grin so wide it almost crossed off his face.  
  
"So...bye Mulder..." said Scully, lookin at Hartwell like he was the sexiest man alive.  
  
Sam Huston RV Park  
  
10: 01 pm  
  
Mulder slowly pulled up, and looks around. Lots of trailers. Too many. He looked at one, and knew it was Ronnies, well, aside from the pizza thing. He slowly crept up into it. It was dead silent. Only things in there were pictures of Penguins and french fries. There in the center sat a lone coffin. It had a smell to it too, that of really cheap clogone! Mulder walked over to it, and peared inside. Ronnie Stricklands eyes glowed a weird green. Mulder's eye grew wide and deciving.  
  
"Oh shit!" The coffin started to bounce up and down. He could hear Scully now. "Oh Mulder...Mulder..." that was all that ran through his mind as he tried to close Ronnies coffin, but with no sucess was hurled off. To his utter shock, he turned into a Penguin mixed with a lion! His teeth beared six inch razor blades! He looked out the window. More...he dashed to the french fries, knowin that he could use them as some kinda cross. Ronnie retracted quickly, and Mulder slipped outside. He was quickly swarmed by the evil Penguin/Vampires.  
  
Chaney Cematary  
  
Chaney, Texas  
  
10: 04 pm  
  
Scully sat in the jeep/truck with Sherrif Hartwell. She wouldn't mind being with this guy at all. He was cute, charming, and hansome. Now if only his eyes would stop glowing green. He offered her some expresso and asked her about some stuff.  
  
"So, you believe in vampires?"  
  
"No, but Agent Mulder dose...as you may know."  
  
"Yeah. Well, I have to appologize for Ronnie, he just don't get the concept of well...low profile...I mean, we may be Penguins and Vampires, but still...ya know?" Scully was even more dreamy. Her eyes were fluttery and she couldn't really see straight.  
  
"Wha?" and with that she passed out.  
  
Sam Huston RV Park  
  
Chaney, Texas  
  
9: 01 am  
  
Mulder suddenly was awaken by Scully, when she knocked on his car door. He was sitting backwards over the seats, with his hair all in a mess. He looked at Scully who was wearing Hartwell's jacket. Mulder looked like hell, as did Scully. His jacket was mud covered. He checked his neck, then Scullys.  
  
"Mulder I..."  
  
"No need Scully...the Vampiric Penguins left...all of em!" said Mulder, brushing his hair back. The RV park was empty. Desolate. And they stood there in the warm morning...alone...  
  
FBI Headquaters  
  
Washington, D.C.  
  
11:21 am  
  
Skinner finished reading over the report and glanced from Mulder to Scully.  
  
"Vampire Penguins?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Agent Scully?"  
  
"I WAS DRUGGED SIR!" said Scully, making damn sure Skinner knew it.  
  
"Well, this is definatly odd, Angels."  
  
"Well sir, I can't justify what happened to Agent Scully while I wasn't around."  
  
"I WAS DRUGGED!" screamed Scully again.  
  
"Sure. Fine. Whatever."  
  
The End...Or Is It!??!  
  
Authors Note: Hope you all enjoyed my version of the ending, look foward to a up and coming re-write of "Jose Chung's 'From Outter Space'" and of course, "Hollywood A.D."...peace out! 


End file.
